An Open Letter to The Girl Who Dates Him Next

Dear ______,

I don’t know whether to say congratulations, you’re so lucky, or to tell you to run away as fast as you can. As Jana Kramer says, I got the boy, but I can’t tell you if you got the man.

I guess I want to tell you a little bit of both.

You are lucky. He’s a great guy. He’ll love you and he’ll show you so much affection it’ll make you sick. But he’ll also probably lie to you about something stupid because he knows what he’s done bothers you. He’ll probably get mad at you because you’re trying to explain something to him but he feels you’re telling him he’s stupid.

You’re lucky because you’ll get someone who tells you he loves you and you make him happy daily, but you also need to run because he just might be lying. He might be telling you that because that’s what he thinks you need to hear right now.

You’re lucky because you have someone who will try really hard to love the things you love and will introduce you to the things he does and you’ll fall in love with those as well, but you should run because sometimes his family makes life too hard. Sometimes his family tries to control every single aspect of your relationship, and while they’re great people, sometimes it becomes too much to handle.

You’re lucky because you got the person I loved so deeply and passionately. You’re lucky because you get to hold what use to be my world in your arms whenever you want to.

But there’s a few things you should know…

He’s indecisive.

He wants you to support him, but don’t ever tell him when he’s wrong.

He pretends you’re important to him, but he’ll probably choose his friends over you.

He won’t stick up for you when it comes to his friends and family because you can “handle yourself.”

He’ll depend on you a little too much where it gets to the point you feel like his mom.

He’s moody.

He’s very emotional.

He’ll lie.

And then act like “sorry” is the answer to any problem.

He’ll ignore any problems that arise.

He’ll tell you things you want to hear…

And make you feel on top of the world.

He’ll stop caring.

He’ll tell you he feels nothing for you.

He’ll tell you he’s done for good…his feelings are never coming back.

And then he’ll leave you.

So right now you are lucky, but a few months from now, maybe even a year or two, you might be the one telling another girl to run as fast as she can.

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To The Girl Finally Turning The Page

 This post is for all the girls who spend days, weeks, or even months curled up in a ball in bed crying your eyes out, begging him to come back. This post is for all the girls out there that finally decided that they spent far too many hours obsessing over a guy who probably hasn’t thought about them twice…or even once for that matter.

Like many of my other posts, I take forever to write them. I spend so much time trying to find the right words to say to my followers, and really myself, that by the time I write it, feelings have completely changed. 

Obviously by my past blog posts, you all know that I recently went through a break-up. While it was totally mutual, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I spent the first couple of weeks constantly thinking about him, wondering where he was or who he was with. I stalked the heck out of his social media. 

People would still ask me about him and I’d break down. I’d hear a song we use to jam to, and I’d cry. So many things would remind me of him, and I would always lose it.

Then one day, everything changed. I decided I really didn’t want him anymore. It took weeks for me to realize that I wasn’t missing him; I was missing the constant companionship. I was missing always having someone to call/text when I wanted to go eat or go to the movies or to go shopping. I missed having someone to send a funny video to or a stupid joke. I didn’t miss him though. 

I learned that there were too many differences in our lives. I learned that I should have never planned a future with someone I started dating in high school. I learned I shouldn’t have taken for granted all the memeories we made. I learned that no matter how bad we wanted it to work, no matter how much we claimed we loved each other, that there just wasn’t a future for us. 

God puts certain people in your life at certain times to teach you lessons. He puts friends in your life to teach you who to trust and how to trust. He puts you in a relationship to teach you how to love and to allow you to learn how much you’re willing to put up with. Every person He takes from you is there to help move you along in life. 

It was a fun ride. It was a long, stressful two and a half years. We went through a lot of things in two and a half years that people shouldn’t go through, but we did it together. There were so many good things I’ll take from my relationship, but there were also many bad things that I don’t want to remember. 

So to the girl who’s finally ready to turn the page to the next chapter, congratulations. It’s hard and takes a lot to reach that point after a long relationship. 

Start focusing on yourself. Find yourself if you lost it in the person you were with. Read books. Go on trips. Go see your favorite artist in concert. Visit museums. Have lots of girls night. Eat all the Mexican food your little heart desires. 

And enjoy this next chapter.