An Open Letter to Danny Gokey

Dear Danny Gokey,

I want to start this post of by explaining why I’m writing this to you.

I recently went through a break-up and it absolutely destroyed me. Day in and day out, I’d find myself crying my eyes out at the most random times and at literally everything. I had crazy thoughts going through my head for the longest time. I honestly just felt like I couldn’t go on with life.

Why?

Simply over a boy who I devoted more time into than I did God. When me and said boy began dating, we had God be the center of our relationship, we’d go to church together, we’d listen to Christian music together, we’d pray together when we would leave each other. Then over time, He became less and less the focus of our relationship and pretty much became nonexistent.

I found myself thinking that after we broke up, God was punishing me. God was mad at me because I stopped giving time to Him, I stopped thanking Him for everything He did for me. Which in turn made me mad at God. I yelled at Him daily. I begging Him to bring the guy back to me.

Until my mom told me to pray, to reach out to God, reach out to Godly people. And that’s exactly what I did.

I reached out to a girl I grew up with whom I knew was a devoted Christian and she told me about your song Tell Your Heart to Beat Again. When she first told me to listen to it, I didn’t. I told myself that it was just another depressing song I’d listen to and cry because once again, I wasn’t good enough.

Until one day, I felt like God reached out to me and told me to listen to the song. He wanted to calm my broken and weary heart. So I turned on your song…

“Shattered like you’ve never been before. The life you knew in a thousand pieces on the floor…” 

As soon as those words hit my ears, I knew this song was going to be more than a song to me, as weird as that may be.

I continued to listen to this song on repeat for days. I wrote some of the lyrics on the dry erase boards in my room for daily reminders. When I started getting sad again, I’d play your song.

“Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again.” 

And that’s what I had to do. I had to forget about the things that happened in my yesterdays. I had to realize that I no longer was apart of a world where I let a single boy control everything I did and said. I had to say goodbye to the girl I was for almost three years, and I had to tell my broken heart that it needed to beat again and be whole.

Let every heartbreak and every scar be a picture that reminds you who has carried you this far cause love seems farther than you ever could.”

Finally, I had to tell myself that this heartbreak I was going through, God did it, but He didn’t do it in a malicious way. He did it because He knew I needed to go through that before I find the Godly man He knows I deserve. I had to tell myself that God was holding my hand and He was walking with me through the pain.

Last night, February 4, 2017, I attended Winter Jam in Atlanta with no intention of seeing you there or hearing your music. I mean, why would I? You weren’t on the line-up.

You walked out on stage, sang a few songs, and then you sang Tell Your Heart to Beat Again. It took all I had in me not to break down then and there. All I could do was close my eyes and raise my hands up to the Lord because that day I found myself thinking about my ex again, and whether or not God intended it to happen, hearing that song told me to “get back up, take step one, leave the darkness” and feel the sun.

So with all of that being said, thank you, Danny Gokey, for helping me realize that this is all apart of God’s plan and there is a much greater plan that He has for me.

 

Sincerely,

 

A dedicated fan.

 

 

An Open Letter to Person I’m Not Good Enough For

To Whom It May Concern: 

I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you. I’m sorry I’ve caused you to think I couldn’t be something important. 

I’m sorry when you think of me, nothing good comes to mind. I’m sorry I can’t think of a single thing that should cause you to feel the way you do towards me. 

I shouldn’t care about what you think, but I do. It’s important to me when you’re important to me, important to people close to me. 

I should just live my life and not continue to worry about what I may or may not do next to make you mad, wonder if there’ll ever be a day you’ll finally be okay with me or if I’ll always be an outsider. 

I hate that you get to control almost every aspect of my life. (Almost) It’s not fair. Your opinion shouldn’t impact my life as much as it does, but maybe I’m the bigger person in this. (LOL) Maybe you’ve got something to figure out in your life. 

I just wish you’d stop taking it out on me. Who knows, maybe you don’t mean to, but you do. Always. I hate knowing there will be something else to try and piece together to wonder what else I could’ve done. 

The only time you’re ever nice to me is when you need something, or I’m helping you out in some way. That’s not cool. 

Maybe one day I’ll stop worrying about you. Maybe one day this resentment I have towards you will go away. Maybe one day we’ll meet in the middle and be able to coexist. 

Or maybe not. 

All I can honestly say is that I’m so sorry I’m not good enough for you. 

, Brittni