An Open Letter to My Nieces

Dear Nieces, 

I never in a million years would have thought I’d love two people the way I love the both of you.

Madsey, I’ve loved you for six, almost seven, years. You’ve been my best friend for those years. You’ve wiped tears away and told me not to be sad, that you loved me. Even at such a young age, you understood me. 

Lauryn, I will meet you today, but I’ve loved you since the second your mom and dad told me about you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I cannot wait to add another best friend to my life. 

The two of you mean more to me than you’ll ever know. I will always love when you laugh, when you cry, when you beg me to play things I don’t want to. 

I will always be here for you guys. When you just don’t think you can go to your mom and dad, I will always be a listening ear. I will always be someone you can come to when you need advice on guys or make up. 

It’s so hard for me to write this because I cannot put into words the love I have for you two. 

I’m so blessed to be able to call the two of you my nieces. People always say they have the best ones, but it’s not true. 

You’re both beautiful. 

You’re both strong. 

You’re both incredibly loved. 

I just want you to know that no matter what, no matter the distance, I am here and I love you. 

Always. 

Love, 

Britt-Britt/Bon-Bon ❤️

Thank You

imageDear siblings,

Thank you for being the best brothers and sisters anyone could ever ask for.

I am so blessed and lucky to be able to call the four of you my siblings.

I don’t know where I would be without y’all. There is more to the word “brother” or sister” when it comes to you guys. When it comes to y’all, two words come to mind– best friends. I know I often complain about not having friends, and being lonely, but I have the greatest people in my life. No one compares to you guys.

So thank you.

Thank you for being my rock. Thank you for always answering your phones when I need someone to talk to. Thank you for meeting me at Waffle House at 12 AM and watching me cry. Thank you for always replying to my texts when I need to vent about how stupid people are or how much I hate work. Thank you for sharing your children with me.

Thank you for listening to me talk for hours about nothing, and pretending to be interested. Thank you for attempting to watch shows I love with me and not tell me to shut up every time I talk. Thank you for watching the stupid television shows and movies I love and you guys hate.

Thank you for letting me borrow your clothes and shoes. Thank you for giving me fashion advice because Lord knows I need it more than anything. Thank you for introducing me to movies I’ve never seen or music I’ve never heard. Thank you for going to endless concerts with me.

Thank you for inviting me into your homes, allowing me to crash on your couches–or daughter’s bed. Thank you for going to Barnes and Noble every time I want another book, even if I have twelve I still need to read. Thank you for letting me eat your food, and steal your movies, and drag you to the donut shops or mexican where the waiters totally hit on you the entire time.

Thank you for the endless laughs, jokes, and pedicures. Thank you for all the late nights, the hot dogs, and the coffee dates. Thank you for letting me use your discounts. Thank you for supporting me in everything I do. Thank you for giving me lots of love, even if it’s rarely ever said. Thank you for telling me I stink when I come home from work.

I could go on forever on why I’m so thankful to have y’all as my best friends, but there wouldn’t be enough time in the world. I never in a million years would have thought that we would be where we are today in our relationship, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Just know whenever any of you need anything, I’m always here and that will never change.

Thank you for being my best friends.

When You Just Can’t Seem To Win

Have you ever tried so hard to be the perfect someone? Whether it be for your parents, a significant other, or just someone you want to look perfect for…

Have you ever tried so hard to be the perfect someone, but you never ever seem to be able to do it? No matter what you do they always find fault in it, you’re never good enough.

For the last two years or so, I’ve been trying to live up to these unreachable standards that have been set by someone that shouldn’t even mean that much to me. I’ve wanted to be the perfect, model citizen. The person who doesn’t do any wrong, never says a bad word, doesn’t touch alcohol…the list is endless.

But recently I’ve realized, those thing I’ve been trying not to do are already part of who I am. I don’t cuss, I don’t drink, I don’t sleep around…I’m always comparing myself to the people that this person finds to be perfect, and I can’t see any way I’m not just as good as them.

I’m trying to be something that I already am and something that I’ll never be so for the people trying to live up to these realistic expectations, STOP. Stop trying to be something you’re not. Stop trying to be everything this person wants you to be. You are perfect the way you are and nothing will ever change that.

If someone can’t accept you for who you are, they aren’t worth being in your life. While you may miss out on a couple things in life by not living up to whatever they want, they’re missing out on so much more than they could ever imagine. You should feel bad for them. Don’t ever feel bad about not being “good enough” for them.

You’re good enough in someone’s eyes. You’re good enough in your mom and dad’s eyes. They’re just biggest critics. They love you.You’re good enough for your boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re just looking for reasons not to be. And you’re good enough for anyone else and if you’re not, forget them. They don’t matter.

You’re good enough.

An Open Letter to All The Overbearing Parents

Dear overbearing parents, 

I’ve been lucky enough to not have my parents constantly be overbearing, watching my every move, keeping tabs on who I’m hanging out with. They’ve given me the freedom to grow up while still being parents. 

The reason I’m writing this letter though is because I have friends who have these kind of parents. It bothers me because I see the pain they go through, the struggles they go through just to have a normal, social life. 

I’m not a parent, nor do I have parents who smother me, but I have observed that if you don’t let your kids be kids and make mistakes, they’re never going to grow up, they’re never going to be able to survive on their own. 

Kids need to be allowed to do things that scare them, create relationships that may not last a lifetime, adventure out into the world. They need to be allowed to do the things that will create them. 

I’m not saying completely let the reigns go, but sometimes it’s a good idea to loosen them up, at least by the time they’re 16. Because in reality, in two years they’ll be 18 and be allowed to make their own decisions. 

“But they still live under my roof–my rules.” 

Correct, but that statement can only go so far. What if they find the means to leave? Just pick up their things and walk out of your front door? Don’t make it get to that situation. 

Keep your babies close, but still let them grow up. Let them blossom into the wonderful young adults you’ve always hoped they’d be. 

Quit smothering.

Quit hovering. 

Quit keeping tabs.

Quit double, triple, and quadruple texting them because they haven’t read your first one. 

They’re okay. And they’re always going to come back to you. 

Sincerly, 

A concerned friend. 

Why It’s Okay to Be a Loner

I don’t have friends and I typically find myself alone. I’ve recently come to the conclusion though, I’m okay with that. 

When I say I’m alone, I’m not literally alone. I don’t have friends, but I do have people I go to.  I don’t spend every weekend at my “best friends” house watching movies and eating ice cream. I don’t constantly text a friend. But it doesn’t bother me at all. 

I have my boyfriend. I spend a lot of time walking the strip, catching the latest movies, drowning four wheelers, and being lazy around the house with him. I spend countless hours laughing at his dumb jokes or wrestling on the ground with him. So I’m not totally alone.

My best friend is my five-year old niece. I spend 98% of my time running around chasing her or walking through the woods to “Pennsilvinia.”

If I’m not with her, I spend Friday night, and Saturday night, and Sunday night…okay, let’s be honest, I probably spend six out of seven nights with my siblings. I couldn’t be happier than when I’m sitting around a table, eating something delicious, laughing my head off with the people who mean the most to me and the people who make me the happiest. 

It used to make me really sad knowing I don’t have anyone to rant to about stupid boys or school, but then it hit me. Why waste time on people who aren’t putting effort towards the friendship? Why put people before your family, or your relationship with God? Why put forth everything in a friendship when in the end, they’re more than likely not going to be your friend. 

It’s okay to be a loner. 

It’s okay to be happy when no one asks to go to the movies on a Friday night. 

It’s okay to not to miss the people who you planned your future weddings with. 

It’s okay to stop caring about people who stopped caring about you along time ago. 

It’s okay to not put up with people talking behind your back and pretending to be bffs with you to your face. 

It’s okay. 

As we’re going up, we learn life isn’t always easy and your best friend today might be your enemy tomorrow was. Growing up, you lose a lot of your childhood friend so. There may be no reason at all, except the fact that y’all grew up. It’s okay. 

I’m a loner and I’m okay with it because I’m done putting in effort where effort isn’t given back.

An Open Letter To His Family

This is an open letter to the family of the boy I fell in love with: 

I’m going to start this off by saying I don’t hate any of you. I could never hate y’all. I’ve known all of you for so many years and have come to love each and every one of you, that no matter what y’all did, I could never hate you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not hurt by the things you have done.

A part of me hopes that one of you see this, and a part of me hopes you never do. It has been sitting on my heart long enough that I knew I needed to get it out in the open, even if none of you ever see it.

I’ll never understand why each of you have made the decisions you have about me, but I respect them. No matter how long I have to go through this or what I actually have to go through, I’ll always respect each of you and the decisions you make. I may not ever understand or agree with them, but you’re all adults I grew to respect and love over the years.

Over the last 365 days, all of you have hurt me, in more than one way, but I don’t hate any of you. What I feel is hurt, and sadness. I feel betrayed, in a way. I feel as though I’m not good enough for not only him, but for any of you either.

Over the last 365 days, I’ve gone through the days being as happy as I could be because I’ve gotten the chance to get to know your son and grandson on a more personal level than ​I have over the years I’ve known him. I’ve gotten the chance to know the amazing man you have grown as parents, and helped raised as grandparents. I’ve gotten the chance to be treated the way every girl should be treated by a man.

For all the reasons I have listed above, I want to thank you. Parts of me feel like if you didn’t make the decisions you did, I wouldn’t have been able to love a person the way I love your son, the relationship that the two of us share wouldn’t have had the chance to grow as strong as it is today.

There are days where I’m sad. So so sad. I see other couples out in public being all happy and couply and even with their families and it hits me hard that I can’t have that. Why? Because of age? No. That may be one reason, but there’s more to it, but I wish you all would look past your fears. I wish you would have at least given me a chance. I wish I would have been given the chance to sit down with you and talk about where I see your son/grandson and I going. I wish I wasn’t turned away the second things changed between he and I.

The two of us have already been through so much in just the short amount of time we have confessed our feelings for each other, but all it has done is made us stronger and shown us that no matter what is thrown at us, we can make it through it. No matter what pitch life throws at us, we can hit homeruns all day.

I’ll never understand what I did to make you guys not like me. Is it because I developed feelings for your son/grandson? Because I’m “too old”? Because you’re afraid? 

Whatever the reason–one I’ll probably never know– I’ll respect. I won’t agree, but I will respect. I just ask you never be fake to me, even if you’re trying to make him happy. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can take what you all feel or think, or I can take how me and him feel and run with it. And I don’t mean any disrespect by this, but I’m taking how the two of us feel and running with it because in the end, it’s what matters the most to him and me, not you guys. I’m sorry.

Although I feel sad daily because of your decisions, I can’t help but silently thank you for raising an amazing man, allowing me to experience true love, and for putting me to a very hard test. I thank you for allowing my relationship to grow and blossom into something beautiful, and at the end of the day, I leave it in God’s hands.

And when the day comes we are finally allowed to be together, I still won’t hate any of you. I will love you just as I have over the years I’ve known you. I can’t promise I won’t hold a grudge for a little while, but maybe one day, we will all be able to come together and be friends again. Maybe I will never really be accepted. but I still won’t hate you.

All the love.

xo, B.