The Final Goodbye of 2016

Falling in love with you was the worst decision I’ve ever made. 

Three years ago, I made that decision to love you. To love you with every part of me, fully and fearlessly. Through the bad and through the good. The hard and the easy. The boring and the exciting. 

And boy, did I have to put up with some crap that I shouldn’t have had to, but I did and I stayed and I stuck by your side. And loved you more than anything. 

I planned my entire future around you. I planned it to be with you. And you did, too. 

Until one day you decided I was no longer apart of your future or your present. 

You decided there was no place left for me in your life. There was no more happiness, there was no more laughs, there was no more adventure. 

When you left, it broke me. You took my heart with you. I lost apart of me–if not most of me.

It’s funny, isn’t it? You spend so much time with someone, and for some reason you become their everything, their entire world. And then one day, you decide to leave and then they’re left with nothing. 

It’s so funny to me because I did make you my world and that was my biggest mistake. It’s hard to go places because every one of my favorite places, I took you to. All the songs I once loved are so hard to listen to because you started loving them as well. So many memories were made with you that I want to so badly forget about. 

When we first broke up, all I wanted was for you to come back to me. All I wanted was to wake up to a text, or see you at my door, but it never happened. Every day I wanted you back, you were busy moving on with your life. 

It’s only been about three weeks, and it’s still hard, but it’s getting easier every day. I miss you less and less, I wonder what you’re doing less and less, but there is still a part of me that wishes you’d change your mind.

I do wish you nothing but the best. I have nothing bad to say about you because you are amazing. You’ve always been amazing. You’re so caring, and loving, and you’re so sweet. You’re supportive and you’re trustworthy. 

Once you do a little growing up, someone is going to be so lucky to have you. They’ll get to see what I’ve seen in your from the beginning. 

As I say goodbye to 2016, I also say goodbye to you. The piece of my heart that I lost. 

When Life Throws a Different Pitch

If you’re anything like me, you know where your life is going, you know what your future holds, your future job, your future wedding will be like, and who you’re going to marry.

Or you don’t know anything.

Maybe you’ll get married in 3 years, or maybe something amazing will happen and you’ll get married in a year. Maybe you’ll start school and graduate in four years, or maybe you’ll start and never finish because you decide college isn’t for you.

But I’m here to tell you, it’s okay if you don’t know what you want in life.

It’s okay if you want to change your major 7 times. Maybe you wanting to try out being a teacher and that was terrifying. Maybe you thought you wanted to be a policeman and the thought of never coming home one day wasn’t one you wanted. Or maybe you thought you wanted to be an engineer and all the science and math classes just weren’t your taste. That’s okay. It’s all trial and error and eventually you’ll figure out what you want. And if you don’t, that’s okay, too.

BUT it is okay if you konw exactly what your major is and you’ve known for years now. It’s okay if you went in the first day of classes, sat in the front row, and made friends with your professors. It’s okay if you went to your first classroom on your first day of observations, looked at your observating teacher, and told him/her that this is what you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember. It’s okay to be confident in the choices you make in your educational life.

It’s okay if you don’t want to get married at 24. Sometimes jumping right into marriage is scary for people. The thought of spending the rest of your life with someone, spending infinite hours and days and years with that person is something you haven’t reached in life yet. That’s okay. Find someone who is willing to wait until you are ready to take that next step in life.

But it’s also okay if you’re ready to get married at the age of 22. There are some people in the world that cannot wait to say “I do” to the man or woman of their dreams–that would be me. Sometimes in life, you just find the one. You find the one who gives you butterflies everytime they say your name, or smile that oh-so-adorable smile. You find the one where you can’t bear to live a day without them, and you know that no matter what happens, that is the one you want to be with forever. That is okay.

It’s okay if you never find a major you love, or a dog who suits your every need, or your favorite food, or your favorite sport. It’s okay to want to try new or different things. It’s okay to question decisions. It’s okay to not know what you want at all times. It’s okay to know what you want as well.

Just remember, at any given moment, life can throw you a fastball, and then switch it up with a curveball, but you’ll always end with a homerun.

It’s okay.