I gave you two years of my life. You promised me forever. We planned our future together. You had me tricked that you were my Once Upon a Time, but oh, that just wasn’t true.
I don’t hate you though. Not at all. At first, I did. I felt so strongly about how much pain you put me through, that I honestly thought I hated you, but I can’t hate you for deciding you didn’t actually love me. It would’ve been selfish to force you to pretend.
I don’t regret the memories made, the laughs shared, the smiles captured, but I do regret the tears cried, the lies built, and the pretending we were happy.
You broke my heart. I cried for a long time after we finally ended things. Even weeks after we called it quits, I thought I owed it to you if I talked to some guy or went on a daye. I thought I needed to call and tell you and apologize. It took me forever to realize you didn’t care. You didn’t answer my phone calls or reply to my texts. The only thing I ever got from you was a message saying that you were disappointed in me for hanging out with other guys.
You ruined a lot for me. I’d go somewhere and have to leave because it reminded me of you. I would hear a song and I’d have to change it because it brought back memories of you. From the first lie, the first time you said you needed time, I should’ve ran, but I didn’t. I tricked myself into believing you were different, that you didn’t really mean any of the mean things you did or said to me. I should’ve listened to my head and I should’ve ran far, far away.
It didn’t take long for you to move on and find a new girlfriend. It hurt. I was extremely jealous. And I spent hours endlessly creeping on the two of you. Eventually, I found out you treated that girl the same way.
Not everything was negative about our relationship. You taught me not to give my all to someone who didn’t put the same effort in. You taught me not to give something up just to make someone stay. You taught me how to love someone truly and with my whole heart. You taught me not to give people chances who did not deserve my trust. But most importantly, you taught me how to forgive.
I hope life is treating you well and you treat your next girl better than you treated me.