An Open Letter To His Family

This is an open letter to the family of the boy I fell in love with: 

I’m going to start this off by saying I don’t hate any of you. I could never hate y’all. I’ve known all of you for so many years and have come to love each and every one of you, that no matter what y’all did, I could never hate you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not hurt by the things you have done.

A part of me hopes that one of you see this, and a part of me hopes you never do. It has been sitting on my heart long enough that I knew I needed to get it out in the open, even if none of you ever see it.

I’ll never understand why each of you have made the decisions you have about me, but I respect them. No matter how long I have to go through this or what I actually have to go through, I’ll always respect each of you and the decisions you make. I may not ever understand or agree with them, but you’re all adults I grew to respect and love over the years.

Over the last 365 days, all of you have hurt me, in more than one way, but I don’t hate any of you. What I feel is hurt, and sadness. I feel betrayed, in a way. I feel as though I’m not good enough for not only him, but for any of you either.

Over the last 365 days, I’ve gone through the days being as happy as I could be because I’ve gotten the chance to get to know your son and grandson on a more personal level than ​I have over the years I’ve known him. I’ve gotten the chance to know the amazing man you have grown as parents, and helped raised as grandparents. I’ve gotten the chance to be treated the way every girl should be treated by a man.

For all the reasons I have listed above, I want to thank you. Parts of me feel like if you didn’t make the decisions you did, I wouldn’t have been able to love a person the way I love your son, the relationship that the two of us share wouldn’t have had the chance to grow as strong as it is today.

There are days where I’m sad. So so sad. I see other couples out in public being all happy and couply and even with their families and it hits me hard that I can’t have that. Why? Because of age? No. That may be one reason, but there’s more to it, but I wish you all would look past your fears. I wish you would have at least given me a chance. I wish I would have been given the chance to sit down with you and talk about where I see your son/grandson and I going. I wish I wasn’t turned away the second things changed between he and I.

The two of us have already been through so much in just the short amount of time we have confessed our feelings for each other, but all it has done is made us stronger and shown us that no matter what is thrown at us, we can make it through it. No matter what pitch life throws at us, we can hit homeruns all day.

I’ll never understand what I did to make you guys not like me. Is it because I developed feelings for your son/grandson? Because I’m “too old”? Because you’re afraid? 

Whatever the reason–one I’ll probably never know– I’ll respect. I won’t agree, but I will respect. I just ask you never be fake to me, even if you’re trying to make him happy. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can take what you all feel or think, or I can take how me and him feel and run with it. And I don’t mean any disrespect by this, but I’m taking how the two of us feel and running with it because in the end, it’s what matters the most to him and me, not you guys. I’m sorry.

Although I feel sad daily because of your decisions, I can’t help but silently thank you for raising an amazing man, allowing me to experience true love, and for putting me to a very hard test. I thank you for allowing my relationship to grow and blossom into something beautiful, and at the end of the day, I leave it in God’s hands.

And when the day comes we are finally allowed to be together, I still won’t hate any of you. I will love you just as I have over the years I’ve known you. I can’t promise I won’t hold a grudge for a little while, but maybe one day, we will all be able to come together and be friends again. Maybe I will never really be accepted. but I still won’t hate you.

All the love.

xo, B.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s